don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
