So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
