The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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