Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
