i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
