Kiss
Puke
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
