if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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