I heard we made out
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
