Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
