Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fortthninches hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

Fav 3 1042 2280
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

Fav 11 3054 1315
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

Fav 4 3933 1339
share tweet
(318): View more from Louisiana

If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

Fav 6 2051 878
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work

Fav 6 1366 698
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.

Fav 14 1356 765
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

Fav 4 1912 812
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.

Fav 3 942 402
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.

Fav 0 92 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT