Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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