He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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