At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
