I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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