I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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