I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
