dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
