Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
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You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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