idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
