Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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