Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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