if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
