My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
