Moan for me like Helen Keller
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
