Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
