College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
