You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
