Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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