belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
