Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
whose parrot is this?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
