Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Plan B is the new Plan A
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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