he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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