so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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