sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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