Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
