how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
