please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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