It's like God shit irony all over that family
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
