All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
