from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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