sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize