I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
