try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
