she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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