Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
