I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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