New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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