whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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