did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think your dad took our porno
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
