omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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