In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
