A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
