Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do vagina's smell?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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