Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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