I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
