Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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