hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
