The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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